Melissa Bowley

Common Questions of Pre/Postnatal Massage and Benefits

“You can get a massage when you’re pregnant?” — “Even in the first trimester?” Yes and usually yes. Some licensed massage therapists and providers recommend waiting until the first trimester. And sometimes mom is not comfortable enough to receive until the second trimester. I was trained to provide care through all stages of pregnancy, labor, and postpartum so it depends on comfort levels and provider consent as needed. One of the many goals of Prenatal Massage is to help mom into a weightless, deeply relaxed and supported experience- similar to floating in a pool only on a massage table. Where her body can be held and supported by a variety of bolsters and pillows to help her not have to hold her own body up- to truly be able to let go and receive- a rarity in a mother’s life. The “momma nest” I call it as it’s truly like building a nest behind and around her. A nest of support, just perfect for her. Most clients even before the massage has begun are already feeling incredibly relaxed experiencing the nest. It encourages a deep restful feeling. It also helps take the pressure off the body and encourage lymphatic drainage to reduce swelling.

An experienced Licensed Massage Therapist with advanced training in Perinatal Massage will know how to position her client in the safest most effective ways to keep blood flow to the baby strong and prevent vasovagal responses. A vasovagal (dizzy/ fainting) response can occur if a mom is all the way flat on her back with legs flat for extended time as the weight from the uterus/ baby can put pressure on the uterine artery. Having mom propped up in a semi reclined with knees elevated/ side lying position encourages a healthy blood flow to mom & baby. Normally I spend a little less time with mom on her right side as the blood flow is slightly less. Unless mom has specific recommendations from her provider to not be in certain positions, these positions are safe. It optimizes being able to work on all areas of the body- head, neck, shoulders, back, hips, arms, legs and feet. YES feet too! That is another question I’ve received a lot is the myth of avoiding foot massage during pregnancy. There are specific labor points to avoid during pregnancy and to activate these points deep consistent pressure is applied in a rhythmic way. General massage on the ankles and feet, safe and feels amazing!

Back pain, hip pain, rib pain, sciatic pain, neck shoulder tension- the list goes on for all the ways massage can physically help prepare for and recover from labor/ birth. Receiving Prenatal massage on a regular basis also contributes to a healthier pregnancy, feelings of wellbeing, reduction of stress, better sleep, and improvement in energy. Physical touch is one of the first languages we speak and what better to go back to when feeling stressed, overwhelmed, scared, or overexerted than the most primal of needs. Prenatal massage can also help contribute to shorter labors. The less restricted and more aligned your body and baby are (mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually)- generally leads to a smoother descent. “Does this also apply for cesarian birth?” Of course. I’ve supported many moms up until and recovery from planned, unplanned cesarean births, as well as healing from traumatic birth experiences. One of the many benefits of working with a collaborative team of providers is the wonderful access to support and having good support leads to better outcomes for mom and baby.

“I’m so uncomfortable and restless at night, have restless leg syndrome or cramping- can massage help?” Yes to all. Pre/postnatal massage can greatly help support mom into more restful sleep as the less pain, swelling, or cramping occurring the easier it is to relax. Another aspect I offer to my clients is “sleep position coaching”- just a quick run through of how to best support sleep positions as the body’s needs change. Many times it’s finding the right supports for your body which is not always the enormous pregnancy pillow. Sometimes it’s multiple pillows with different densities and wedges. It may seem like a lot in the beginning but once you get the hang of transitioning (side to side) it becomes second nature. The relaxation effects from the massage also help to ease sleep challenges.

“Can I receive if I’m considered a High Risk Pregnancy?” This is a great question to ask your prenatal care provider- Usually the answer is yes, but it depends on your individual circumstances, and sometimes Massage is contraindicated. Being considered High Risk is a pretty broad category. Knowing the reasons why you’re high risk is important. I have worked with many high risk pregnancies for a variety of reasons with provider consent. Massage & Chiropractic care can have a great impact on the comfort of your pregnancy, reducing stress levels, and postpartum recovery. And again, making sure you’re going to a knowledgeable professional in Pre/Postnatal Massage so that any modifications needed can be made.

“How often is best to come in for Pre/Postnatal Massage? Up until when can I come in and when is best to come back?” It all depends on your specific needs. I’ve worked Prenatally anywhere from weekly, to bi-weekly, to monthly. Most common is bi-weekly- coinciding perfectly with Chiropractic care. Weekly is usually when the needs are greater or you’re getting really close to giving birth. Ideally we can work up until the day before delivery (giving your body time to rest), also trained to provide in-labor massage which I hope to do more of in the future, and postnatally we can work together as soon as you’re comfortable to receive. For some that’s within the first week, others first few weeks/ month. Checking with your provider is recommended in case there are any further modifications needed, areas to avoid, or important details to know.

There are many more ways Pre/Postnatal Massage can benefit the mind/body/ soul connection- the ones listed today are the most common ones and questions I’ve received. Any further more specific questions feel free to reach out!

Yours In Health,

Ashleigh Dundas, Owner, LMT, HHP, RP, PD

Learn more about Massage Loft.

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Surviving Hyperemesis Gravidarum

*PSA: If you are someone suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) and/or are actively nauseated, I would suggest you save this read for when you are feeling better.

As I write this, I am desperately looking at the clock. 32 minutes until I can take the next doses of my anti-vomiting/nausea medicine cocktail of Zofran, Reglan & Benadryl. A “cocktail” that my OB lovingly shared with me after I hit rock bottom a few weeks ago. I am 14 weeks pregnant and suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum. Hyperemesis Gravidarum, as defined by the American Pregnancy Association, is a condition characterized by severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss, and electrolyte disturbance. It’s that thing none of us can pronounce that put Kate Middleton in the hospital many times with her three pregnancies and what Amy Shumer shared all over her Instagram when she was pregnant with her son. HG is a b**** and it is dangerous.

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This is my second pregnancy with HG. I suffered from week 5 to 20 with it when I was pregnant with my first baby, and like clockwork it started at 5 weeks pregnant with my second baby. It is so much worse this time around (and yes, I am having a girl this time). I have had multiple trips to the Emergency Room for IV infusions thanks to the dehydration that vomiting 20 times a day causes. I was terrified to take medication, so I refused until I hit the 11 week mark and had been admitted to the ER for the third time in two weeks for IV infusions.

This particular trip to the ER, I was discharged after four hours of infusions and sent home. I lay on my bathroom floor feeling worse than when I went in for help hours before. I was unable to eat. My arms were covered in bruises and puncture marks from the IV attempts. Multiple nurses attempting to start a line into veins that would instantly collapse or were virtually non-existent. I began to cry harder than I have ever cried before, yet there were no tears. The 4 liters of fluid did not even make a dent in the dehydration I was suffering from this particular day. I had many breakdowns in the weeks before but this was definetly rock bottom. I couldn’t take it any more. I felt as though I was slowly dying and my baby being harmed in this process. I can’t put into words how awful HG makes you feel. I was on six straight weeks of vomiting 10-20 times a day and being bed ridden, so I also barely had the energy or capability to do anything to help myself. I put my trust completely in the hands of ER doctors that did not understand HG and that was my biggest mistake. HG is classified as a rare disease and requires specialists who understand it to treat it or you have to really advocate for yourself.

After my husband picked me up off of the bathroom floor and guided me back to bed, I pulled out my phone and started to research how I can help myself. I found Her Foundation. This foundation is incredible. It is one of the only support networks out there actively doing research on the best ways to treat and cure HG. The website connected me to several support people in my local area, I emailed all seven of them and joined the Facebook group. Within minutes I had support from moms who had experienced this awful disease. They helped me find the strength to see my OB the next day and push harder for immediate treatment. They helped me learn more about HG and what medications are recommended. But most importantly, they helped me feel less alone. They weren’t telling me to “just force down water” or “eat something bland before you get out of bed in the morning” because they knew that although well-intended, this advice is absoloutely useless for a woman suffering from HG. It can even be harmful because it can make her feel guilty and weak.

If you are suffering from HG, please please please reach out to Her Foundation or find someone, like me, who has been through it. Because mama, you are not alone and you will get through this.

May 15th is Hyperemesis Gravidarum Awareness Day.

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Questions For a Doula During the Current Health Crisis

Momunity curated a list of commonly asked questions regarding giving birth during the current COVD-19 crisis. Bianca Paredes, certified childbirth doula, answered them for us. We hope they provide you some comfort during these challenging times.

What if I can’t have a doula at my birth? What are my options?
If you have been working with a Doula and they are no longer permitted to be with you at the hospital. you still have options! We can FaceTime and be with you virtually as well as be available for phone + text support throughout the duration of your laboring period. In the prenatal period, we will have worked with you and your spouse/partner so there is a connection made there and we are able to still work together as a team while you are in labor. With that said, hospitals in RI are still permitting Doulas in the laboring space so advocating for your support team and requesting our presence PRIOR to arriving to the hospital makes a big difference.

What if my partner can’t be there? How can I prepare?
In the event that your partner is unable to attend the birth with you, your options would be to opt out of a hospital birth and explore your other avenues (home birth) or remain in the care of your hospital and trust that you are being taken care of. You can also have your partner with you virtually, whether through FaceTime or being streamed in on a laptop. Again, advocating for this prior to arriving is always your best defense. Ask to have you both tested for COVID-19 and see if that is an option. If you find yourself preparing to birth without your partner, please reach out to a Doula and see if they are able to help navigate you through this. My inbox is always open – [email protected]

I am very anxious about my birth and postpartum without support. What support can I still access?
It is very understandable to be feeling anxious if you are preparing to labor and deliver during these times – please reach out for support. Even if right now that support is only virtual. Many Doulas are holding space for woman to process this time, we are just unable to be there in person. Remembering you are not alone and seeking support is ALWAYS an option, regardless of what barriers seem to be in place. In regards to the postpartum period, there are measures that can be taken in advance to help ease that transition and that is something that a Doula can help walk you through so you come home with baby to a home as prepared and supportive as possible.

How do I prevent anxiety and depression?
Anxiety is a natural feeling as we learn to navigate the world right now, acknowledge those feelings but know that they are temporary. Same with depression that may arise. Your greatest tool here though is support and that is ALWAYS available to you. Whether that is to simply talk, process or make a plan to try and move out of the anxiety + depression you are experiencing. We are here for you ❤️

Are you still providing in-home visits? If not, what are you doing instead?
Regarding in-home visits for me as a Childbirth Doula, I have moved over to virtual prenatal visits. In my experience so far they are just as effective in helping families preparing for the laboring + delivery period.

Do you provide childbirth Doula services for planned cesarean births?
I do provide Childbirth Doula services for planned cesarean births. At this time, it would be the decision of the provider whether or not we are allowed in the operating room but as a Doula, we support ALL paths to birth.

Are you seeing an increase in home births due to the current health crisis?
For me personally, I am having clients switching out of hospital settings and into home births – yes. This is a very personal decision but I have clients currently that I am supporting in the switch.

What industry shifts are you seeing during the current circumstances?
The biggest shift I am seeing currently is the response to parts of our country shutting partners and support people out of the birthing space. This has started a conversation about the importance and long term affects of being (or not being) supported through birth. We are living through a global health crisis that is admittedly hard to navigate and one that changes day by day but I am seeing a lot more attention be brought to the importance of feeling supported through what is for many, the biggest moment of their lives.

To any woman preparing to birth in this time, whether for the 1st or the 5th time – I see you, I see how stressful this time is to navigate but please know you are supported in the fullest capacity we as Doulas are able too. As I mentioned, my inbox is always open, always and especially now. Please do not hesitate to reach out for support. We are stronger, together. ❤️❤️

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5 Ways To Take Care Of You With A Newborn At Home

5 Ways To Take Care Of You With A Newborn At Home – New Mom Self Care Tips

One of the toughest things to tackle as a new mother is maintaining your sense of self and finding time to take care of YOU. As a mom, your first (and seemingly only) instinct is to do every single thing for the baby, which leaves little to no time for any form of even basic self care. In turn, some moms feel like they’ve lost their identity, lost their minds, and can begin to reach levels of fatigue they’ve never imagined possible.

As Bumpin Blends founder Lisa Mastela, MPH, RD said, “If you’re not putting your oxygen mask on first, you can’t possibly put your children’s masks on!”

It’s an important concept to keep in mind. You cannot — read: it’s IMPOSSIBLE — take care of your little one if you’re not covering your bases with self care. And remember, self care isn’t just a luxury or something superfluous to indulge in; this stuff is truly fundamental and absolutely must be incorporated into your life and routine.

To reframe self-care for you (because trust us, many a marketing campaign has left it a bit skewed in our minds), let’s go over some of the basics. Self care includes sleep. Yes, sleep. Self care includes taking a long, hot shower. It includes nourishing your body with high-quality, whole foods so you feel energized. It also includes a few minutes — or hours — of silence, quiet time, and undisturbed peace. Self care is not just face masks and manicures — but it can be that, too! This is about YOU and what works for your brain and body, and keeps the engine running. You wouldn’t expect your iPhone to run for days without a charge, so why do you expect the same out of your human body?

Ahead are some of the Bumpin Blends founder’s top tips for maintaining a sane brain and healthy body while you’re pregnant, nursing, raising a baby, or chasing a toddler (or three). For the full immersive experience, just envision Lisa telling you all this self care info in her best Jonathan Van Ness voice. It’s better that way, we swear.

1. Recognize Self Care as a Priority

“Whether you’re a new mom, pregnant, super duper pregnant, a mom of a toddler, a mom of a teenager, there is always time for self care,” said Lisa. As a mother of a toddler herself, she knows this from experience. “Being a mom is no joke; we do 10 times more than the average person has to do every day… all before 9 am.”

Because you have so much on your plate — and the life of another human being on your list of responsibilities — it requires you to “rise up to a new level,” said Lisa. This includes stepping up your game with “Organization, critical thinking, patience, operating on less sleep, creativity, and — wait for it — self care.”

And when you’re challenged in such an intense way on all fronts, it’s imperative that you do in fact recharge those batteries. “It’s crucial to prioritize your self-care so it doesn’t get put on the back burner, like many other things do,” said Lisa. “Sure, you might not get spa days, and you can’t just sit at a coffee shop for hours, but you can find five minutes here or 10 minutes there to really, truly put yourself first in some way — every single day.”

2. Find What Self Care Works For You

This is different for everyone, and it’s hyperpersonal. A few things that Lisa has found for herself when she was a new mom might work for you, too.

Ignore the dishes for a night and take a long hot shower instead
Hire a sitter for two hours while you go take a nap
Put on a movie for your child so that you can POOP IN PEACE

It gets real in mom world, but sometimes a bit of toilet time on your own is all it takes to reset you for the next few hours of the day.

Another way Lisa takes care of herself is with healthy food that feels indulgent, including Bumpin Blends. For her, the self care in this instance is two-fold: nourishing, energizing foods and a time saver — no prep or cook time, and you don’t have to go anywhere to get it.

“Bumpin Blends gives a new mom the gift of time, alongside a peace of mind and ability to treat yourself in the best way,” she said. “It tastes like an indulgence (hellooooo, vegan cookie dough smoothie!), it’s packed with all the amazing nutrients you need, it can alleviate your symptoms of pregnancy or motherhood, and it saves you time and energy in the kitchen. Win, win, win, win.”

She said it best: “Being at home with a newborn is exhausting in every way. There’s no time. There’s no energy. Your mood is CRAZY. Your feelings are all over the place. The last thing you should be doing is pulling out a frying pan to make eggs in the morning.” AMEN. Ain’t nobody got time for that. “Bumpin Blends takes care of you, it’s easy and delicious, and it comes with a built in dietitian to support you. Pop open the bag, pour it in the blender, add liquid. Done. You’re sipping on a refreshing green smoothie loaded with natural energy sources before you even realize what day of the week it is.” And no trip to the juice bar required.

3. Evolve Your Self Care Routine as Your Child Grows

Something to keep in mind is that your self-care practices during your baby’s infancy might not look the same in their later months or years. “Self-care must evolve as your parenting does,” said Lisa. When she was a new mom herself, everything centered on a sleep schedule. “For example, my self-care when my daughter was a newborn was naps, long baths, and things I could do when she napped all the time (and I was sleep deprived).” That, of course, changed when her daughter had more awake time and began to crawl and eventually walk.

“As her naps got less frequent and I was less sleep deprived, my self-care became workout classes while my husband watched her,” she said. Nothing like an endorphin boost and some solo time to give your body and brain some much needed attention!

Now her self care is time together, but in ways that make her feel peaceful and relaxed. “Now that she’s a toddler and she’s too sweet and funny to miss out on family time, so I don’t enjoy workout classes as much as playing and working out with her,” said Lisa. Here’s her current toddler-centric self care routine:

“[My daughter] and I created a routine that allows me some self-care: every morning, she and I have breakfast, go for a long walk, do mommy daughter yoga together, and then she either takes a nap or plays quietly and independently for 45 minutes or so while I sip hot coffee and read a book on the couch. It’s heavenly.”

It really is the little things.

4. Eliminate Guilt From the Equation

In the process of developing and practicing your own self care routine, it’s ultra imperative that you eradicate any feelings of guilt. It’s truly a useless emotion that serves no purpose — it doesn’t help you grow or learn, it doesn’t help you feel gratitude, it doesn’t pay the bills, and it doesn’t change the diapers. So get rid of it!

“There is NO room for guilt in self-care, especially for new moms” said Lisa. “Stop it. Do not feel guilty for putting yourself first and filling up your cup. You deserve it.” She’s right, honey! (remember, Jonathan Van Ness voice). “If you’re feeling guilty about your self-care, talk to another mama about it, talk to your partner about it, and brainstorm some forms of self-care that you’re more comfortable with.”

Write down your feelings when they come up (if you can manage that — we know, it’s all a lot). Address them, and ask yourself “why do I feel guilty about this?” If necessary, refer back to step 1 and remember that this is truly a priority and the only way you can truly succeed as a mother. You’ll be the best mom you can possibly be if you step back a little bit to recharge.

5. Make it a Daily Habit

Whether it’s your daily smoothie, walk, or five minutes of quiet time to meditate, make sure you find at least five or ten minutes every single day to give back to your brain and body. Here are a few suggestions on how to make it a regular occurence:

Involve your little one. Like Lisa mentioned in her daily routine, you can totally incorporate your baby into your self-care routine. Maybe it’s a walk together outside in the fresh air, or mommy-and-me yoga when they get a little bigger! Find a way to fuse mommy responsibilities and self-care together.

Ask for help. You’re taking on so much more than a full-time job, and if you were taking on a full-time job in an office (as many of you have and continue to do!) you know that it’s totally acceptable to ask for help when you need it. So why go it alone with motherhood? Ask a friend, family member, significant other, or hired professional for help when you need it so you can make sure you’re caring for yourself each and every day. This is an important point that we could write another article about, but please — ask for help when you need it, and don’t feel guilty about it!

Make it short but frequent. Five minutes three times throughout the day might be all you need. Keep it short so there’s no excuse, and hold yourself accountable. You can even set alarms in your phone so you know when it sounds, it’s time for five minutes of you time.

Have an accountability buddy. Whether it’s another new mom friend, your spouse, or your best friend, have someone check in on you every day, and check in with them after you’ve completed your routine self care.

Schedule it. Just like you schedule naptime and nursing and pumping, schedule your self care. It’s just as important!

Make it brainless. The last thing you want to do is add another task that taxes your brain. Instead of coming up with a wildly creative new self care idea each and every day, make it something totally mindless — might we suggest a recipe-free smoothie as a treat? Perhaps a meditation app that you just have to press “play” on? A simple few minutes of stillness and fresh air on your back patio or front porch? Make it as calm and thought-free as possible.

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One Pregnancy + Two Women = My Surrogacy Journey | Implications of First Time Motherhood and a Surrogate Pregnancy

When someone asks me, “How was it to carry twins?” I’ll respond with, “I didn’t carry my twins; I had a surrogate carry for me.” Sometimes, that answer is received with a polite nod and response; other times, a lot of questions follow. I’d like to share my experiences with pregnancy and motherhood within the lens of an intended mother, and focus on the implications of pregnancy and motherhood when a gestational surrogate is involved. This is based solely on my personal experience, as well as what I discuss at Guided Surrogacy with new clients who are exploring surrogacy as an option.

I cried when I received the Pre Birth Order (PBO) legal document, signed off by a judge, that upon the birth of our twins, my husband and I would be listed as the parents on the birth certificate. This mundane clerical task is something most new parents may take for granted. For me this was the final legal hurdle to jump over prior to my surrogate giving birth, showing that indeed we were legally going to become parents, bestowed with the full legal rights to our children, that someone else was carrying for me.

I remember sitting in the operating room right before my daughter was born. I was weeping, partly because I was scared, not feeling prepared to be a new mom (who is ever prepared to be a new mom), and realizing that everything I had hoped and prayed for was actually happening at that moment. I was worried I wouldn’t naturally connect with my babies, because I hadn’t carried them. I didn’t have the pregnancy hormones surging through my body. I wasn’t going to develop milk for my babies because I wasn’t the one who was pregnant. Motherhood was seconds away from reality and there I was, feeling unprepared. I witnessed my daughter being born, she immediately was brought over to the bassinet in front of my stool where I saw her for the first time. Relief, happiness, and gratitude washed over me. Then a flash of panic occurred, because I realized another baby, my son, was about to be born. Twins! Two babies, instant-family, and a multitude of sleepless nights were on the horizon. What had we done! These were all normal feelings of motherhood, but the difference was that I didn’t have to physically recover and had no post partum hormones to deal with. I even got to walk up with the pediatricians to the nursery right after we took some photos.

How different is a surrogate pregnancy? For the surrogate, her body is going through the motions that most women will go through in a successful pregnancy, not differentiating between whether she’s a surrogate. Her body is growing, changing, surging with hormones and protecting the children within. She will attend ultrasound appointments, go through bloodwork and monitoring of the pregnancy, attend birthing classes, and more! However, in a majority of cases, the children she carries are not genetically related to her.

Post-delivery is when implications and situations that were not discussed or proactively planned for can occur when experiencing third-party reproduction and using a surrogate. After delivery, the surrogate, who has delivered the babies, will not go home with them. The Intended Parent takes their baby home–two babies in my case! Essentially, this is when a fork in the road occurs, which is different from when a new mother has carried her baby and also is the mother/caretaker after the birth.

How are things different as a new mother via surrogacy? As many new mothers can attest, a lot of people ask about the birth story and how everything went–not as much to pry into private matters; rather, out of curiosity and a desire to understand. I think this question is more socially accepted now. As a new mother, who didn’t give birth and wasn’t ever pregnant, it can be a very awkward conversation that you typically want to avoid. Nine years later, I will gladly share my whole story, partly because time is the biggest healer. Directly after the pregnancy, I didn’t feel the same way. Did I have sleepless nights? Yes. Did I walk around like a zombie when I was awake? Yes. Did I change 300 diapers/month? Yes. Was I pregnant with my twins? No. Early on as a new mother, I didn’t want to share about surrogacy because I still felt like my body had failed me as a woman, even while holding my twins and realizing my dreams had come true.

Another unspoken challenge of being an intended parent is attending pediatrician visits. When you have a newborn (especially when multiples are involved), most physicians will ask how the child was born, were there any complications, what was your pregnancy like, did you breastfeed? Here is where it can become complicated in a surrogacy pregnancy. Once the child is born, the intended parents are legally the baby’s parents; however, the surrogate gave birth so technically the babies’ birth is connected to the surrogate and unless the surrogate signs off on an intended parent receiving the medical records, you have no rights to the medical records. Fortunately, my surrogate and I have a wonderful relationship, but to this day, I still don’t know if my children were born feet first, sideways or head first during the C-section. It may not matter that much in the long run, but it is another reminder of how different a surrogacy pregnancy can be.

As a new mom, who didn’t give birth to my children, I also ran into antiquated policies after the birth of my children regarding how much time they would allow for me to take off. There was no policy in the books on intended mothers. Most maternity clauses at jobs allow for 6 or 8 weeks off from work depending on if there was a vaginal or C-section. I had neither. However, I had two tiny NICU babies that my husband and I had to care for. My son was especially challenging, because up until month 2 when he was switched to a special formula for his milk protein allergy, he was vomiting up all of his food 24/7 and was at risk for aspirating in his sleep. He slept nearly exclusively in an elevated bouncer for the first 3 months of his life next to my bed so if he vomited, I could wake up and ensure he wouldn’t choke to death. My work let me know that they would allow 4 weeks off for anyone that adopted a baby. They claimed that the adoption policy applied to me, because I hadn’t carried the babies. Boy, was that the wrong thing to say. I was taken aback that my job would only allow me 4 weeks, because I had not given birth–I felt discriminated against–it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t carry my children, it was an underlying medical condition. I had been through so much and now wanted to spend time with

my children–bond with them, be their mother and enjoy them given the past year of planning, worrying, stressing, ivf hormones, and emotional pain I had gone through to get them here. Only 4 weeks!?

My twins were born at 35 week old, and were NICU babies for the first week. As any new mother should have the choice, I decided I wanted to feed them breastmilk. However, I couldn’t feed them my milk because of my category D prescriptions, which is the reason I needed to use a surrogate in the first place. As a woman, as a new mother, this was another blow to my psyche–my body is made to produce milk when I have a baby, but I didn’t have any to give. Luckily my surrogate was very willing to pump for us and we had discussed this together with my husband and everyone was on board. However, when my twins were born at 35 weeks, my son was not ready to be born. My daughter’s water had broken and so they both arrived in the world. My son had bubbles in his lungs, had a pulse/oxygen level of 50, and was a bluish color. Therefore they both were evacuated hours after birth to a higher level hospital with a NICU. This became a logistical issue that we hadn’t planned for. Our surrogate was recovering from a C-section in Aberdeen, SD. Our babies were being flown nearly 4 hours away to Sioux Falls, SD. When we arrived in Sioux Falls, I remember the lactation nurses coming to me to say that breastmilk is best for NICU babies. I fully agreed, and again felt inept at not being able to provide my babies with what I consider to be “liquid gold”. There was also a legal hurdle, because breastmilk is considered a biohazard and should be tested before given to another human. The mama bear in me came out (perhaps too much) and I laid the hammer down. Prior to the embryo transfer, all four parties (intended parents, surrogate and our surrogate’s husband) had to be tested for every communicable, sexual, and viral disease out there. My surrogate had literally given her body to help my children grow over the last 9 months. She was volunteering to provide her breast milk, which I gladly accepted in place of my own, and now we had to deal with a possible biohazard-body fluid transmission issue. I can’t actually remember what I said or what occurred, but I did get breastmilk for my babies. Eventually, we had a medical courier fly back and forth between both hospitals twice daily to pick up my surrogate’s breast milk and fly it to the NICU. On a more comical note, once we returned home to Chicago, I remember getting a huge box of frozen breast milk delivered from our surrogate every Tuesday morning at 6 AM. One morning the box was leaking and was slapped with an orange biohazard stamp. I remember the delivery employee explaining that they usually don’t ask customers what is being shipped, but because it was a biohazard, they had to ask. I said the box had frozen breast milk in it. A wave of relief swept over the delivery person…followed by embarrassment. We both had a good laugh! I returned inside to feed my newborn twins.

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Tips for Going Back to Work

This is a strange and sad time for everyone – but what if you’re a new mom facing the end of your maternity leave? The few months after a baby are such a delicate time to begin with – and returning to work and leaving your baby in someone else’s care can be fraught with a range of emotions. But what if returning to work looks entirely different than you expected? For so many of us, our jobs are currently remote, and we are being challenged with maintaining a full-time job while also caring for our children. If this is what you’re facing, we have some tips to make your return to work go as smoothly as possible!

1. Have a conversation with your manager/team a few weeks prior to your return if possible. Catch up on what has happened since you’ve been on leave, what is needed from your role now, and how your team has been working together. It’s likely you are not the only member of your team that has kids and will be juggling home and work, so hearing from others will be helpful.

2. Work with your partner to establish guidelines and a schedule for how the childcare and household management will be handled. If your partner has been working while you were on leave, it is likely you have been doing the bulk of the childcare. Now that you’re going to be working, too, how will this work? Can you schedule time that each of you is the primary caregiver while the other works? Knowing your work requirements in advance will help with the planning, as you can schedule in required meetings that each of you has to attend.

3. Connect with another working mom (virtually). When returning to work from our own maternity leaves, we have found it helpful to connect with other moms in the same situation. Hearing how they’ve made it work, and knowing we aren’t alone, can make a huge difference. Consider scheduling weekly virtual coffee or play dates to check in and connect.

4. Remember that doing everything perfectly is impossible. Juggling a full-time job and kids can be hard enough – but you’re being asked to do it without childcare. There is no way to do this perfectly. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that there is plenty of virtual support available, whether it’s through connecting with our moms, or finding a therapist.

5. Find moments of joy in every day. Is it going to be easy to schedule your job around caring for your baby? No. But is there some good in being able to see baby smiles between meetings? Or perhaps in not having to pump as often (if you’re nursing)? There is good in every day, and making an effort to find it will go a long way.

6. Schedule time for you. It won’t be easy to find time for yourself. As much as we don’t love our commute, sometimes it gives us time to listen to a podcast and just be in a way that we can’t at home. This will also likely require scheduling with your partner, but can you make time for a quick workout some days? Or meditate during those quiet moments at night when the baby goes to sleep? Perhaps it’s a quick lunchtime walk. Whatever it is that works for you, make sure to plan for it, and do your best to stick to that plan. Self-care is hard – but so important, perhaps nouw more than ever.

We hope these tips help – and we also want you to know we are here to help, too! As career coaches and moms who’ve been there, we offer one-on-one coaching on everything from making a career change to returning to work from your maternity leave. If you’d like to have a chat about how we can help you plan for and manage your return to work, schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit! https://www.rizecareer.com/

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3 Foods to Help You Lose the Quarantine 15, Naturally

I don’t know about you all, but I have been spending more time than ever sitting on my couch watching cartoons with my son and eating snacks. And the weight has been creeping on. I recently heard the weight that people are gaining during quarantine is called the quarantine 15 (like the freshman 15) and it made me chuckle. As frustrating as it is, it is totally natural for us to be less active and to eat more to deal with stress and boredom during this unprecedented time. Unfortunately, as a result people are turning to restrictive diets to lose the weight they have gained during quarantine. Instead, I urge you to give yourself some grace during this time and to add a few metabolism boosting foods to your diet, rather than depriving yourself.

If you’re like I used to be, you’ve likely been struggling to release excess weight for a while, even before quarantine.

And, also like me, you’ve likely tried a number of diets and strategies that haven’t worked.

I know how frustrating this can be, and how confusing it is to try to make sense of all the conflicting nutritional information out there.

There are so many approaches…

Vegan
High protein
High fat
Low fat
Calorie counting
Keto

It feels impossible to know what’s right for you!

If you’ve been struggling to lose weight and keep it off, chances are that your metabolism is out of whack.

And, going on a restrictive diet will just make things worse.

I’m going to be diving deeper into this topic in my upcoming FREE webinar, but for now I want to share 3 foods that will help you work WITH your metabolism instead of AGAINST it.

Here are 3 Foods to Help You Lose Weight, Naturally…

#1 Green Tea
Why Green Tea Helps With Weight Loss…

When green tea is consumed, it increases thermogenesis or the rate at which your body burns calories. This means that you can do the same level of activity but burn more calories throughout the day.

In one study, participants were given green tea on a daily basis, but made no changes to the food they ate or exercise they did. At the end of 90 days, participants lost an average of 2.64 pounds, ¾ inch from their waistline and reduced their body mass index—not bad considering that no dietary or exercise changes were part of the study.

In another 12-week study, participants were placed on a diet where they were provided three meals per day. All the food was prepared for the participants. Half of the group consumed green tea. Those in the green tea group lost significantly more weight—24 pounds—over the 12-week period.

Aside from weight loss, there are many health benefits to drinking green tea, including preventing cancer, reducing inflammation, and overall heart health.

My favorite form of green tea is Matcha – a more concentrated, powdered form of green tea.

#2 Coconut Oil

Why Coconut Oil Helps with Weight Loss
When you think about weight loss, you might think you should minimize fat consumption, but this type of thinking may be sabotaging your weight loss efforts.

Instead, think about consuming the right types of fat.

One of the fats that has been found to be particularly beneficial for weight loss is coconut oil.

Consuming coconut oil is very different from consuming other types of fat, because it reacts differently within your body. Most types of dietary fats contain long-chain fatty acids, but coconut oil contains medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs), which are metabolized in a unique way.

When you consume the MCTs in coconut oil, they move from the digestive tract to the liver. Since the MCTs in coconut oil are “thermogenic,” meaning that they require a higher amount of energy to digest and metabolize, they help to boost your metabolism and provide you with additional energy throughout the day.

Since the body processes MCTs in this way, they increase the energy that is expended (compared with other types of fats). When energy is used at higher levels, fat loss occurs.

My favorite ways to use coconut oil are for stir frying vegetables and to make popcorn (yum!). When buying coconut oil, be sure to choose unrefined coconut oil.

#3 Flax Seeds

How Flax Seeds Help with Weight Loss

Flax seeds are high in both soluble and insoluble fiber, which are important elements of a healthy diet.

Fiber is beneficial for weight loss in a few ways.

First, it helps you feel full for a longer period of time, helping you consume less food.

Second, the fiber content in flax seeds helps control your blood sugar levels.

Maintaining lower blood sugar levels supports weight loss, because when your blood sugar levels are high, your body is more likely to store fat.

Flax seeds also contain omega-3 essential fatty acids which have been shown to boost metabolism and speed up weight loss. And like fiber, the healthy fats found in flax seeds are beneficial because they slow down digestion and help keep you satiated.

My favorite ways to use flax seeds are to add a tablespoon of ground flax seeds to a smoothie and sprinkling ground flax on a bowl of oatmeal in the morning. When purchasing flax seeds, be sure to buy the whole seed and then grind them at home in a coffee grinder. The ground seeds will stay good for a week in the refrigerator.

Start integrating these foods into your diet and let me know how it goes!

I have a lot more to share with you about how to lose weight (and keep it off) in a way that’s really healthy and sustainable.

Deprivation diets are NOT the answer. There’s a better way and I can’t wait to share this with you.

I’ve been sharing my strategies for lasting weight loss with clients for the past two years and they can’t believe how much easier it’s been for them to release excess weight and keep it off.

I’m incredibly excited to share these same strategies with you!

I’m going to dig much deeper into this topic during a FREE webinar…so that you can finally lose all the weight you want (for good)!

FREE WEBINAR

“The Diet Myths Preventing You From Losing Weight & Keeping it Off: 3 Keys to Lasting Weight Loss…So You Can End Dieting Forever”

During this FREE webinar you’ll learn: REGISTER HERE

The 6 culprits that are preventing you from losing weight
What’s stalling your metabolism & keeping the weight on
The 3 keys to losing the weight & keeping it off
The foods that increase your cravings & cause you to hold onto weight
How to enjoy meals that fire up your metabolism

If you’ve been struggling with your weight, I hope you’ll join me because I know what a huge difference this can make for you!

Click here to reserve your free spot >> REGISTER NOW

Missed the webinar? Send me an email at [email protected] and I will send you a recording!

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Bumpin Blends Lactation Cookie Giveaway

A note from Bumpin Blends Founder Lisa Mastelo:

THERE I WAS, 8 MONTHS PREGNANT, CRYING OVER SPILLED CHIA SEEDS…
I had used smoothies throughout my pregnancy as a means to meet my baby’s needs while nurturing my own — getting my nutrients in while including ingredients to soothe my nausea, bring down my swollen ankles, and of course, to satisfy my cookie dough cravings!

As a registered dietitian, even I was overwhelmed by not only the sheer number of nutritional needs to be met when making a tiny human (folate, and vitamin D, and omega-3s… oh my!), but how challenging it was to squeeze all these nutrients into my day (especially since I really just felt like eating mac n cheese and mint chip ice cream).

On that particular morning, accidentally breaking open a full bag of chia seeds and having them spill all over the floor was no surprise. It was one of many recent clumsy moments in the kitchen, including blending a wooden spatula into an acai bowl, visiting the ER after a failed chopping carrots situation (ten stitches!), staining our countertop with wild blueberries, just to name a few… I was officially too pregnant to play in the kitchen, which made me wonder if other mamas out there were feeling that way, too.

So, I set out to help other women, moms, and soon-to-be mamas meet their nutritional needs and nurture their symptoms in an easy, fast, and delicious way. No more crying over spilled chia seeds.

Blended with love,

Lisa

Lactation Cookie Giveaway
Our famous lactation cookies are finally able to be delivered a la carte! A package of 10 big, chewy, chocolate chip oatmeal cookies rich in omega-3s, fiber, and several key ingredients to boost milk supply — delivered to your door.

Cookie Giveaway: One lucky winner will get a bag of lactation cookies from Bumpin’ Blends.

Giveaway ends May 15, 2020 at midnight. Winner will be notified via email or on social media.

How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker Book Giveaway

How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker: Mom-to-mom whines, cheese, rants and recipes delivers a strong dose of comic relief for all women who find themselves overwhelmed with the temporary insanity wrought by beings under four feet tall. Like many mothers, author and blogger, Jackie Hennessey, has her days. Sometimes, the only thing she needs in order to cope with motherhood’s ups and downs is to vent with other moms. That and vast amounts of cheese dip. A hilarious collection of mommy whines and cheese dip recipes culled from mothers across the country, including truths from the author, How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker makes the perfect gift for moms everywhere. Included are such delectable morsels as: • The horrors of shopping with kids • How to make Tex-Mex Cream Cheese Dip • What to do when your child gets a potty seat stuck to her head • The recipe for Gourmet Cheddar Dip with Dried Figs Because this book is written by a mother, the short, fun-to-read chapters can be consumed in real mommy time!

Book Giveaway: One lucky winner will get a copy of How to Spread Sanity on a Cracker: Mom-to-mom whines, cheese, rants and recipes by Jackie Hennessey.

Giveaway ends May 15, 2020 at midnight. Winner will be notified via email or on social media.